Mohan Belani: Fatherhood as a Founder, Raising AI-Ready Kids & Balancing Marriage with Startup Life – E589

" I mean women have it so much harder, right? Because for them, their bodies are literally changing on a daily basis. Then the emotions, the appetites—everything is going through a massive cycle. For me, my wife was a huge inspiration because she was dealing with a whole bunch of ups and downs. In my mind, I was like, I have no place to be stressed out or frustrated, 'cause what she's going through is way worse. I have this thing where, if I'm in a bad situation, I will always reference myself to individuals that I know within my network that are in really difficult situations. And I'm always like, look, my situation is really not... yeah, yeah, yeah, you. It just helps make things a lot easier, helps ground me on some level. It just fundamentally is a psychological trick to make me realize it's not that big a deal." - Mohan Belani, Co-Founder of e27

"Even if it opposes your worldview, it's really important to stay curious rather than be judgmental or critical. So there's one quote that I shared with some friends earlier this year—I think it's a bit corny, but actually very powerful for me at least, especially now in the age of AI. This need to consistently be curious about what's new, what's interesting, or what's changing, even if it opposes your worldview, is really important rather than to be judgmental or critical. I'm hoping through that I can be a better learner, a better dad, but also a lot more ready for the changes that are coming. Because if you are able to be curious, the good thing about AI is that it will feed you that curiosity. But you’ve got to have the curiosity—the patience to ask questions and not just judge the outcome. So yeah, for me, be curious, not judgmental." - Mohan Belani, Co-Founder of e27

"We made the decision that we were husband and wife first and parents second. It doesn't mean that we didn't care about the kid, but we had to make sure that we put in effort, time, to continue to build on and respect the sanctity of our relationship, and not pour everything into just purely raising the child. We made a lot of decisions that maybe third parties would look at and go like, 'Wow, you guys are bad parents for making those decisions.' When really, from our perspective, we're like, 'No, we are making sure that we are rock solid as partners, and that rock solid foundation will help us bring up the child better.' And I think looking back, I'm really very happy we made those decisions." - Mohan Belani, Co-Founder of e27

Mohan Belani, Co-Founder of e27, and Jeremy Au reflect on what it means to be a tech leader, startup founder, and modern dad raising Generation Alpha. They explore how parenting rewires identity, the mental load of fatherhood, and how decision-making feels like startup building in a world flooded with information. They discuss the tension between being an attentive partner and a present parent, how childhood memories shape parenting choices, and how to raise children with curiosity and resilience in an AI-saturated future.

01:22 Becoming a father changed how they saw themselves: Both Mohan and Jeremy share how fatherhood wasn’t just a lifestyle change, it rewired how they viewed their purpose, relationships, and future selves.

04:03 Parenting choices are shaped by childhood memory: Disagreements on toys, schools, and routines often trace back to each parent’s own upbringing and unspoken childhood needs.

06:41 Too much parenting data creates anxiety: With Google, AI, and peer pressure, small decisions like which stroller to buy feel high stakes. They learned that many choices are symbolic, not essential.

18:14 Startup skills helped them approach parenting: They used frameworks, product-thinking, and planning cycles, treating the transition to parenthood like building a company.

24:27 They prioritized marriage over parenting perfection: Both couples intentionally put their relationships first, believing that strong partnerships make for better parenting despite outside judgment.

34:00 Preparing kids for an unpredictable future: Rather than fixate on grades or jobs, they aim to instill values like resilience and curiosity to navigate a world dominated by AI and shifting norms.

50:06 Curiosity is the most important trait to teach: They agree that teaching kids to ask questions and stay open-minded matters more than pushing achievement or obedience.

(00:58) Jeremy Au: Hey, Mohan, how's life? 

(00:59) Mohan Belani: (01:00) Very good. I just came back from New York, so, I'm a bit jet lagged. I had a nice week spending time with family over there. 

(01:05) Jeremy Au: How's New York now? 

(01:06) Mohan Belani: The last time I went to New York was in 2006. From a comparison standpoint, it felt like things were vibrant, a bit more exciting. But from a work and text standpoint, I really can't tell. I just had a nice time spending good quality time with family. I did a half day Manhattan walk around. It still felt like things were pretty exciting. 

(01:25) Jeremy Au: I had a few wonderful years working in New York up in Columbus Circle. It was a nice time because it was just my wife and we could barely see Times Square from our apartment. We had no kids, you go to a different concert every week or show.

(01:40) Mohan Belani: Mostly in East Village. I was exploring the area. I was mostly cafe hopping, looking at small shops. So, it was not full of tourists. I did the standard Times Square hop, but was just there for like 20 minutes to take a picture or two. I was with my dad, so I was kind of bringing along as well. Oh. So yeah, it was a nice, refreshing experience and I'm glad to be back now.

(01:56) Jeremy Au: Well, fantastic! I think there's a lot of fun to be had in (02:00) that city. And you know, the topic of the day that we talk about was about being parents, right? Yeah. Because you were traveling with dad and were you with your kids? 

(02:07) Mohan Belani: No.

(02:07) Jeremy Au: Yeah. So, I think that's interesting dynamic that we wanna talk about is we're both dads, we're both in technology, we're both millennials. Both of our kids are going to be generation alpha. It's an interesting experience. So, I just thought it just be fun just to kind of like have that conversation. So, did you always want to be a dad? 

(02:22) Mohan Belani: Growing up, I think there was some level of like, okay, I'll do things a bit differently. I knew I would have kids, it's just a matter of when or how many. Right. I think the standard one boy, one girl, two, I think that structure was really in place in my mind. I wasn't the kind that said a straight no to kids or a hell yes. Yeah. It was more flexible. For me, timing was the one that was vastly delayed. And now that I'm post 40, I think it's a hugely challenging thing physically and mentally to manage the kids' part. Previously, a lot of the ideas of what it meant to be a dad or what it meant to bring up a child, I hadn't thought through them deep enough, like there were some mental models and inspirations that I had. But what it is (03:00) today is vastly different from what I expected it to be. In a very good way, actually. 

(03:03) Jeremy Au: I think for myself, I kind of knew that I wanted to be in love. I would like to get married to the woman I love. I never really thought about kids. Reflecting back, it was implicit in my head that I would have kids one day. That it would just happen naturally, out of being married. I think it was only when I started like dating and then I was like, okay, you know, this is someone I can raise a family with. And then, you start thinking about whether to propose. That timeframe is when you're like, okay, this is because you're not making a decision about whether you like going on dates with her, right? You're thinking about whether you're gonna do a permanent thing with her. Yeah. And then that permanent thing is marriage. And then marriage means you discuss whether having kids or not. So, I think that's when you're kind of like, okay, gonna have kids. But even so I would say I never really planned on having kids, for me it was fundamentally this serendipity slash luck slash accident.

(03:47) Mohan Belani: Did you feel that at the later stage, the ability to have a family with this person was more important than just purely being able to live with this person? Or how did you approach that? 

(03:57) Jeremy Au: Yeah, I think that's a good question because it (04:00) was never so explicit. But definitely, there were people that dated that were a ton of fun. At some point it was just like, this is not a healthy relationship. The way we were handling conflict was there, you know, and then you're just like, okay, this isn't good for either of us. It's not because of you or me, but it's clearly like, when good times are good, they're really good. When bad times are bad, this is horrible. But clearly, we're not moderating each other or making each other worse during those fights. And obviously, now looking back, maybe I'm like, okay, now that I'm older, she's older, maybe we have more ability to, you know, they lower the harshness of your startup in terms of how you enter conversation. Don't use triggering language. Use I statements. I feel emotional, downside, anxious when you do that rather than you are an asshole. 

(04:42) Mohan Belani: Those are things you slowly learn as you get older. 

(04:44) Jeremy Au: So, it's less about her and I, it was just both of us were still younger. And nobody taught us this stuff. I think there's a negative version which is like, avoiding harm or avoiding negativity. You can measure a future where you build something together with her. Right now, I don't think it was very clear to be like, oh, she'll be the mother of my kids. Which some people seem to do, I was reading this very interesting book and (05:00) this book was talking about how like, why can you change about your kids and why you can't change by your kids? And I think the voice called selfish reasons to have more kids, it's a good book about, you know, it's unashamedly kind of like a positive argument to have more kids, right? Yeah. From a economist perspective. So, that was interesting, one thing you said was quite interesting which was if you really wanna choose a child, genetics is a big part of it. Who you choose as your spouse to have that kid? That's one of the biggest decisions you're gonna make, so much of personality is inherited. Like people can't think that, you know, I have to be a massively great parent to change the outcomes for the kids when actually the most important decision is like, who are the parents of the kid, right?

(05:37) Mohan Belani: Warren Buffet talks about it quite a bit, right? He says that's the single most important decision you're gonna make in your life, right? Choosing your life partner. Because that individual will fundamentally define what your next 30, 40, 50 years of your life is gonna look like. Exactly. And if you find one that is so disconnected with you, doesn't mean it's wrong, but it's still disconnected with you from a philosophical standpoint of bring our child, then every decision is gonna feel like a (06:00) battle, the negative impact on the child is gonna be quite significant as well.

(06:02) Jeremy Au: Yeah. And I think that's the part about, it's very interesting is that everything about child is symbolic. Mm-hmm. Right. You know, like before that you're like, 'hey, dear, do you want to go to eat Japanese or Thai?' It's a logistical question, and the stakes are low, but once the kid arrives, the stakes become high and symbolic or emotional for both sides. 

(06:21) Mohan Belani: It's not a function of how much you want that to be. People sometimes pass over the very first toy a child has, or the kind of classes they go to before they're two years old, I think there's this innate feeling that parents have where they need to get everything right at the start to set their kids up for success later on.

(06:39) There's this fear that if they don't get it right, it might affect them later on. If you give yourself, as parents, so much pressure, and then start fighting over what is right and what is wrong, for us at least, that's not the approach we choose to take, we do realize that a lot of the child success is serendipitous. It's a function of so many things, the things you do at the early stages. Sure they can play an impact and (07:00) role, but they're not the only things we don't try to make too big of a deal of it. Yeah. We just bought Olive her first doll this week. On some level, people might fuss over the gender of the doll, the color of the skin, and you know, what kind of doll is it? But for me and her, right, it's really just, okay, let's see how she's light and then let's react from there.

(07:19) We are basically trying to inculcate a sense of, ' hey, what if there was someone else in the family, how do you share more? How do you learn for something that looks a bit more like you? And just learning from her to see how she reacts to it as well.

(07:28) So, I think sometimes there's also too much pressure, right? On what is the right thing to do, at what age, at what stage. I try to just, there's one book I read actually. So, I made a point to try to be more hands on and active when my wife was pregnant, to at least make her feel, but also make myself feel like I am putting in some effort in the process. So, reading was one aspect of it. There were two books I read. One, was the book you wish your parents had read. The second one, I think it was called "Crip Sheet". But I can confirm with you after this, it was a very economics view and statistical (08:00) view on parenting. So, it had big data on breastfeeding or bottle feeding. They had data on baby's weight, how much a baby's weight goes up or down in the first six months. It provided a data centric approach to raising a child and not feeling emotional triggers when things don't feel like they're working the way I wanted. So, that was quite powerful. If you don't breastfeed, it's perfectly okay. 'Cause the database says actually doesn't matter. You know, everyone think, 'oh, you must breastfeed, you know, in the first couple of years. If not, the child might not be most mentally primed, but factually speaking,' that's not true. So that really helped.

(08:34) Jeremy Au: I really like what you said about the fact that everything feels like it must be chartered out forever, right? And then, like what you mentioned, I think data is another version of that generations ago. Parents didn't know or didn't have to care about the entirety of their child's life. Did your kid have the right educational toys in the first few months? Yeah, because that will prime them neuro centers that will determine their academic future, which would determine their career future, which would determine whether (09:00) they die a happy or sad person. 

(09:02) Mohan Belani: Right. Yeah. The way people discuss these things. 

(09:04) Jeremy Au: And you're like, 'Wow! Everyone's thinking about the entirety of my child's life. And I was seeing to myself like, man, like probably like 10 generations ago, people were farmers, they were like, oh, my kids could be a farmer like me.' Right? 

(09:14) Mohan Belani: The kids survive past one. I think that was the immediate pressing need. 

(09:17) Jeremy Au: Exactly! Most kids didn't survive one, like you said. A lot of them died before the age of even 16 or 18, right? Just have kids, enjoy what they're around, try to take good care of them, and then let life take care as it is. Now, we're like, everything is like loaded. Everything is like, every small thing is like, especially for technology that I think, it's like this data, you know, all I need is a stroller. But then suddenly, I'm in a rabbit hole, watching. And then suddenly, there's just really another tech dad out there who used reviewing phones, but now he's like, i'm a dad now. Sometimes, we do strollers and this guy is describing a stroller, like an iPhone. I'm just like, oh, that's really good. But then you're like, wait, it's a stroller. Within this price range of stroller that I'm willing to get, the absolute difference between whether it has a phone (10:00) holder or not, you know, or how collapsible, but I'm like, this is the level of neuronal power. 

(10:04) Mohan Belani: The stroller point is spot on. I was tasked to figure out the stroller. I didn't take it seriously enough until I went to some baby fair and I was like, what the hell? There's so many brands and there's a whole range, big wheel, small wheel, and basically, I was just overwhelmed and then just like you, I watched videos and everything right in the end, right? What I ended up doing is I just went for the stroller that my wife's best friend had, and I just picked that. I innately just made sure that, okay, I'll pick. That took away the technicality of why I could have probably gotten a pretty shitty stroller that doesn't entirely cover the needs I have? But just having that social validation right from a, oh, wife's best friend has it. She says, it is great. So, it must be amazing. That one decision helped to solve so much potential horror and fighting down the road. And I think , that's the thing, right? With a lot of family centric decisions, most of the battles don't need to be fought out that much. The truth is they don't really matter that much. We don't even use the (11:00) stroller that much now. We had this mental model that we would use the stroller all the time, and the truth is, we really don't. If I had fussed obsessively, I can't imagine all the advice I would've had only to realize that actually it's not that big a part of my life. Making decisions based on validation from others that she trusts, helps solve a lot of problems for me. 

(11:16) Jeremy Au: There's a unique confluence, right? Because there's so much choice available now. And the emotional anxiety of being responsible for your child And then, of course, there's so much data available. So now, everyone's becoming an economist. Or you know, how much can you coach your kid? How important is fish oil to your kid, right? Probiotics. 

(11:35) Mohan Belani: Like, wow, it's right. 

(11:36) Jeremy Au: So, I think it's a tricky part about that. But I think maybe one thing is like, you know, kind of like zooming in a little bit is like, you know, when you had your kid, right? And you know, that timeframe, how did you feel about having a kid? 

(11:49) Mohan Belani: I mean, I was definitely very excited. There was some level of fear with respect to how life would change. Would I be good enough? I think, naturally, there was also this sense of like, (12:00) do I have the right mental state of mind to tackle this, right? Because I didn't wanna have a laser fair attitude towards it, although I do have a bit more of a laser fair attitude towards things sometimes, as a way to cope. So, that was one thing and I did get some help on this which is really figuring out what is my role, how to be as effective as possible, and through the different stages. So, let's say in the first trimester versus at the moment of giving birth versus in the first year one, right? What should my role be and how should it evolve? Where can I be most effective and where should back off? And then the last part really is, at least for my wife and I, we made the decision that we were husband and wife first, and parents second. It doesn't mean that we didn't care about the kid, but we had to make sure that we put in effort, time, to continue to build on and respect the sanctity of our relationship, right? And not like, pour everything into just purely raising the child. We made a lot of decisions that (13:00) maybe third parties would look at us and go like, wow, you guys are bad parents for making those decisions. When really from our perspective, we were like, no, we are making sure that we are rock solid as partners, and that rock solid foundation will help us bring up the child better.

(13:14) Jeremy Au: Yeah. And I think, looking back, we are very happy that we made those decisions.

(13:17) I think that's a good conversation to have especially about being partners. I was reading this book, Seven Marriage Success Habits by the Gottman. You know, like marital psychologist, they had this anecdote which I thought was very relevant . These scientists measure relationship success and see which couples make it over the long term, for who divorce. And so they use a mixture of quantitatively. They have a lab to observe couples, but also, qualitative measures like how they talk to each other. I think, for most dads, a common error they make is that they underestimate how much their wife becomes a mother. Biologically, you're pregnant, your body's full of these hormones priming you to love your child, otherwise, your child's not gonna survive so you are being rewired (14:00) in that sense. Yeah. I mean, biologically you start your relationship with the baby, nine months earlier, right? From a dad's perspective, you're outside watching. The mom can feel the kid inside them. Obviously, they're fed the same food, the shame hormones and everything. And they feel the kid kicking, so there isn't not a relationship earlier than the dad as well. And so, one error for dads is that once the kid comes up, then they feel ignored. Right, you know? Like, why is my wife so into my kid? Which is not a bad thing, obviously. But then president's like, but I used to be number one. I'm no longer your number one compared to the kid. I thought it was an interesting anecdote that they had in the book which was like, dads just have to get ready that this is gonna happen. It doesn't mean that they're like number two or last, or bad, or that they're fighting for the love of the mom with the kid. But I think it was just interesting to read that this is a common psychological error. It's very interesting. 

(14:52) Mohan Belani: Yeah. I'm lucky to not have had that experience. For me it was just perpetually, okay, how can I be really useful to the mom in (15:00) terms of support? But how can I also play a role where I am helpful to the development of the child? It is more relevant to the first six months. Because I think, that's a very supporting role. The level of support is actually really also dependent on you. I've known of young parents where at night, when the mom wakes up to feed, the dad doesn't even wake up, right? It's not a right or wrong thing. It is a matter of how involved you wanna be. Maybe in that situation, the mom just wants good quality private time, and they want the dad to rest so that in the daytime, the dad can be stronger and more functional. It's a dynamic between you and your wife, what makes sense and what works best for the two of you. I was fortunate to be in partnership with my wife. Figure out the right cadence, how involved should I be, and how hands off should I be. For the first six months, I wasn't extremely involved. I was just consistently working, going to the gym and she was a hundred percent supportive and okay with that. But post six months, it got a lot more hands-on, right? We even did two trips, just me and her. In the first six months, as a way to take some time (16:00) off, I could feel from people in my circle that it was like, oh, how can you be doing that? But for us, it was amazing. Mm-hmm. And then that laid that foundation of like, okay, husband, wife first, mom and dad, second. Right now, I think that has laid a great foundation such that we have a very healthy balance in how we spend quality time with each other and quality time with the child.

(16:21) Jeremy Au: One interesting dynamic is checking in with each other a lot. I think that's quite difficult to do because I think, everything's running around as much logistics, everything's changing. I think, one thing actually I found easier compared to last time, is there's a lot more information. There's so much advice out there that's easily searchable, or you can use AI. There's a book we used to read, " What to Expect When You're Expecting", which is a guidebook for the first trimester, second trimester. They have a version for when a kid is one, two years old. There's so much advice because, you know, for example, the question about sleep routines and training, you just Google and the answer comes out you don't have to rely on grandparents wisdom, you just have to search It is right (17:00) there. I remember there was a lot of advice that have like a go being like, be a kid is pregnant and might deliver, you need to have everything prepared. Because it takes time for stuff to arrive. But now, at least in Singapore, with delivery so fast, you can get everything. I remember it was like oh, I forgot, I forgot this. And I was like, press order. By the time I went home, he was already there. 

(17:18) Mohan Belani: Also, the access to information is great. The tricky part is stopping yourself from perpetually looking at information and trying to figure out, oh, what am I not doing right or what is wrong, right?

(17:27) I think that healthy balance is key. One example is that in the early days, we were definitely exposing ourselves to miss Rachel and some of those content shows and all that, right? Yeah. And I think on some level, there's the wisdom on like, you know, screens and all that are not healthy, but that has helped her a lot with speaking faster than her classmates or being a lot more interactive. Right now, there's a hundred percent ban on screens. We started this since late last year. . The civil government came up with a lot more guidelines, and I personally decided, ' let me do more research.'

(17:58) The research says, below (18:00) the age of five, it is quite detrimental. The upside that you get is not better than the downside, right? We decided, okay, hard stop. Let's instead spend more quality time. Let's do more outdoor activities and all that. So, on some level, I think information can tremendously help. But on a lot of other levels, too much information can be a bad thing, right? Especially when you start comparing it with peers. I think this is something I don't do at all. I never compare myself with peers whether it's family or friends. Mm-hmm. I very actively don't talk about it 'cause I just don't want get into that rabbit hole of comparison and then starting to feel like, am I not doing something right? Or what should I be doing more to convince it or some deficiency or lack of progress from a child standpoint? These are very deliberate effort. I find it, it relates a lot to company building in some sense. You've got some founders that always obsess over what the competition is doing and then perpetually react to like, 'oh, a competitor launched this or announced this, and what is our response to that? And let's go, spend the next six months building stuff that our users don't need because the competitor did it.' I think, that reference point is important. (19:00) It's really about, how do I bring out the best based on what he or she's is capable and interested in? And then, you know, figure out along the way from that. 

(19:07) Jeremy Au: I think we talk about company building. Our first kid was an accident. The tricky part was that it was the pandemic, we found out around May, 2020. So, for me it was like watching the news and then people were dying from of oxygen all around the world. It was like a zombie apocalypse, right? And then it was a tough time because everyone's like this mystery disease. There's no vaccine. Everyone's just running around like a crazy person. And I always remember that, obviously, there's a lot of anxiety about having. And then, I was just kind of scratching my head a little bit, and then I was like, you know what I got? I told myself I got five months. I was like, if I could build a company five months, I could do this child thing. It's time to figure it out if we could build a company in five months, for sure I can do this kid thing. Billions of people across generations, tens of thousands of generations, they figure out how to have a kid. I'm just repeating the exact same thing. That's a process. Spot on, you know, like today is the same thing not only that I have Google, at the time there's no chatGPT. So, at the time I was like, I (20:00) have Google, I have checklists, I have friends, I could call communities, I have in-laws, I have a OB-GYN, so I'm just like, why am I so anxious about this?

(20:08) I got five months, you know? Yeah. I can do anything in five months. I was just like, oh, I'm very anxious. Sometimes, once I had a talk, I was like, oh, I can be a company in five minutes.

(20:14) Mohan Belani: Did that happen right at the start or after you went for the first scan and you saw the little, peanut in the screen? 

(20:20) Jeremy Au: I mean, obviously, I think, the debate was for about a few weeks, the month. 'Cause you know, also it was like pandemic, so we couldn't like talk. I know this is the classic story where I'll be like, if I had it, I would be in a bar, you know, drinking alcohol, beer. And at that point there was so 

(20:34) Mohan Belani: many worst things to be thinking about.

(20:36) Jeremy Au: It was a tough time. So, I think it's about month because it's a lot of to billion. After that, I was just like, you know what, just figure it out. Just try. And it worked out. So far so good. But it was funny to become like that founder mode. I was like, I didn't check from founder mode. I was like, you know, like google, founder mode for product market fit. It's really a process. Cliche, but it is true. There's only a linear amount of effort you have to do, right? The first question you ask is gonna be like, 'hospitals to go to', or you know, like you (21:00) said, ' breastfeeding or bottle feeding?', There's a linear amount of questions.

(21:03) Mohan Belani: I mean, the women have it so much harder, right? Because for them, their bodies are literally changing on a daily basis. Then the emotions, the appetites, everything is going through a massive cycle. For me, my wife was a huge inspiration 'cause she was dealing with a whole bunch of ups and downs . In my mind I was like, I have no place to be stressed out or frustrated because what she's going through is way worse. I have this thing where if I'm in a bad situation, I will always reference myself to individuals that I know within my network that I am really difficult situations. Right. And I'm always like, look, my situation is really not that bad. You know, it just helps make things a lot easier. Helps ground me on some level. It just fundamentally is a psychological fit to make me realize it's not that big a deal. Just get over it and get to work. 

(21:49) Jeremy Au: You know what it reminds me of is I read this book and I hate to share this, but I bought a book called, " The Dummies Guide During Pregnancy".

(21:56) Mohan Belani: Wow. I'll still buy the books. 

(21:57) Jeremy Au: I bought it. It was very helpful. I mean, it's an (22:00) eBook. 

(22:00) Mohan Belani: But still. 

(22:00) Jeremy Au: Yeah, it was good. And I think it was a really good moment. I think that I always remembered the advice that I have is like, something along the lines of like, yeah, this like mildly snarky tone. And he was like, yes, you feel like your wife's request is unreasonable, but remember she's having a kid. She's having your kid. And so, she's going through a lot of the work, both the emotional and the physical work. So, go and get her that glass of ice or you know, like fact check your reality because I thought that was a really funny part of advice which I found quite useful. ' Cause a lot of times before it was like, you know, I'll do my own thing, should do on her own thing, whatever it is. Then after a while she's like, of course when you're pregnant, then your wife is gonna be like, 'Hey Jeremy, go do A, B, C, D, E, F, G, X, Y, Z, right? And you're like, what? Now in my head I was like, yeah, but she's having a kid which is like more than A to Z times 20 So she could be wrong, but she's right.

(22:49) Mohan Belani: In that situation. That period is the one good solid period where she can give the most unreasonable requests. And I would happily do it. 

(22:55) Jeremy Au: She's building the great pyramid and you're just like, oh, I have to hold a brick or 10 bricks.

(22:59) Mohan Belani: But the (23:00) truth is, she's not entirely in control of the situation. Even if the request is unreasonable, it is what it is. The best you can do is be supportive and help alleviate it as much as possible. 

(23:10) Jeremy Au: Just do whatever food she wants, get whatever place she wants to go. And I think, that's a good piece of advice 'cause it is just the psychological evolution, right? Which is that you used to be just you and her and you had that way of being with each other for so many years and your own patterns. But once you have a kid, the pattern changes and you have to readjust. 

(23:27) Mohan Belani: So, did you feel the need to get support as the male role in this? Did you feel that you needed to get support externally, maybe from other dads? Was there a time when you needed that? 

(23:36) Jeremy Au: Yeah, I think for the first kid. Because it was unexpected and unplanned. It was very confusing and I needed to call a bunch of my friends who were dads just to get a sense of what's the pulse? Or the set of decisions you need to make and get a lay of the land. So, I think that was a helpful piece of it. But I think the tricky part for me was just like, again, it was a pandemic, so there wasn't a lot of support I did have to get. Actually, I engaged a (24:00) counselor before my first kid arrived. I did it because first of all, there was a pandemic, so there's no one to talk to. So, the only people could talk to in person at the time was Medical counselor. I remember. But I think the other part for me was that I found out that my kid was gonna be a daughter. And what I realized all of a sudden was that, you know, I started think myself like, oh, my daughter's gonna die. And obviously, there's a pandemic, but there's also a deeper belief structure in junior college, my girlfriend passed away from cancer. Very sudden. I was close to her and that had psychological impacts on how I conducted my relationships in the future. But also, I was quite close to her mom and so I empathized with her loss as a parent. Very painful. I never knew this for years, but once I found out my girl as a daughter, I was like, oh, she's doomed to die from cancer. It was like that negative thinking, you know, whether you call it PTSD or it is just the wrong belief structure, right? And so I was like, I have a daughter, like, oh, she's gonna die. 

(24:50) Mohan Belani: So, you sought out counseling to help you navigate through that. 

(24:53) Jeremy Au: Process that feelings or that process. Right. So counselor is very much like, okay, why do you believe this? And I'm like, don't worry, I know exactly why this is coming (25:00) up. It's pretty obvious, like probably A to B. You knew it, right?

(25:02) Yeah. So I was like, I gotta go to the A and discuss this and then we can talk about this. And I think it's quite helpful because the counseling was just quite straightforward. The interesting piece of advice I got was just like, 'obviously, becoming a dad is new role.' That's one. But of course, the big piece of advice, because being a dad means that you give up the role of being a child. My entire life being a dad, an equivalent of your entire life you've been an employee, and then suddenly you become the C. Yeah. It's just a totally different feeling, right? But I think the other part is just like, the child inside you, it didn't go away. It's still inside you. As a kid, your brain was small. As you grew older, your brain became larger. Whatever you experienced in your childhood, all those experiences, lessons, parental wisdom, how you were treated, all of those psychological patterns are still there inside the middle of your brain because the neurons lay on or taught with, but they never changed. They never disappeared. They were just there. And then when I become a dad, then those circuits reactivate. Right? And then suddenly it becomes important to you. A classic example would be as a child, I was very happy when people gave me a mango. Mm. And is this an (26:00) example, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. My childhood memories was like somebody would, you know, cut the mango and then they'll slice it with the knife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'll open it up. Yeah. Do a smile, right? And they'll pop out. Square cubes. And I was like, as the kid I was like, this is the best thing. It's like the best day of my life. Any day that's a mango, it's a good day. You know? So, now you become a parent, then you're like, oh, how do I give a good day to my kid? You're just gonna be like, oh, give the kid a mango. I mean, you're reactivating the same neuron memory circuit as the past, and it never disappeared. But now it's important. 

(26:29) Mohan Belani: You're effectively transplanting your childhood experiences into your child. Right? Yeah. Hoping that they would have the same emotional connection with them. Exactly. And that's quite magical, because it makes you go back to when you were a child yourself. Exactly. And remembering all those happy memories. So for me, I spend more time with dads and friends with dads to ask them, 'Hey, what can I do to be more prepared? What caught you off guard?' A lot of them shared, the first six months, there's not much of a role to play. Just be there for your wife. (27:00) Just be hands on. The big impact comes after six months. So, that was actually quite helpful for me. Realizing that I don't have that big of a role and not feeling like something is wrong. At least what was helpful for me is in just not obsessing over the end outcome or the success. Right? And just let everything go a bit more naturally. So, it's a bit more of a nonchalant mindset. And it can seem like I'm disconnected with the task on hand. But actually, the truth is in realizing that, there are just so many factors that result in a child being what they end up being, that there's no one or two that makes a massive driver, so don't sweat the small stuff, essentially. I think that has been extremely helpful. Sometimes for the work trips that I go for, I realize it is actually completely okay to step away from the child, spend some time for work or my own personal self and come back because they are still happy in the way they are and actually have a very short term fuse in terms of missing you and then going back to what they were doing.

(27:55) Jeremy Au: Right. 

(27:55) Mohan Belani: So, that has helped at least. Manage that. Because I know, some people who get so (28:00) upset about traveling or stepping away from the family to take care of work or personal, that they get paralyzed by that experience. 

(28:07) Jeremy Au: And I think they get paralyzed because like you said, people feel the feelings of them as a parent, but also feel the feelings of when they were a child. Yeah. So, if your parents were not around or one of the parents was not around as a kid, then if you choose to be away from your kid, being away from your kid is a horrible thing 'cause it make you feel horrible as a kid when you, you know, a long time ago, right? So, I think there's all this loadedness of all these arguments, kind of kick in. And sometimes when I talk to other dads, one piece of advice I give is when they're having some argument, it's like, oh, my wife is having an argument about blah, blah, blah. And in general, we all recognize at some level is a small thing logistically, you know, in the face of it. But I think for example, what school to go to, one useful thing I've shared as advice is like, it's worth asking your partner's, like, how does this decision relate to when you were a kid instead of arguing about is this better or worse? The example, is it okay for the kid to be left-handed? I know it's a crazy one, but all the way to (29:00) these are the kind of toys they should have or whatever it is. Just ask your partner and they say, how does this relate to when you were a kid? 

(29:06) Mohan Belani: So much of what we have in life is in reflection of the experiences we've had growing up. Just asking them how does that relate to when they were younger makes a world of difference because there could be a deeper unfulfilled need that they want to bring out or see develop in their child now. Sometimes that could be with, let's say music or even access to certain things like toys, for example. Because they maybe didn't have a lot of toys growing up. They wanna make sure that kids have everything. So, that realization is important, but it's also important to make people realize that they shouldn't be projecting their own negative or positive experiences too much on a child. They should balance between what they think is right. And based on the observation of the child, what makes sense. At least for my child, she really doesn't care much about toys. So buying toys for her, although I enjoy it. Growing up, I used to go to Toy House a lot, not to buy stuff, but just like, like visually just go nuts by the (30:00) possibility of playing with them. But with her, that effect isn't there. And I've realized there's no point in buying more stuff for her. She does so much better with books or going out to the park than with toys. That balance of realizing what works for the child versus what you think works is important. 

(30:17) Jeremy Au: I'm so curious, what else have you brought from your childhood to being a dad? 

(30:22) Mohan Belani: A deep connection with family. And when I say family, I mean extended family. Everyone from grandparents, uncles, aunties. I've had amazing childhood. I've had a lot of good quality time with extended family members whether visiting them or traveling with them. That has been quite meaningful in shaping my life. I'm thankful that my wife has a very similar outlook. So for us, it's important to bring Olive to Malaysia to spend quality time with her grandparents. We did a trip to London last year and spent a good three weeks with her uncles. That one was a pain point for me because of the extended amount of time. But at the same time, it was also a very good discussion with my wife on (31:00) like, Hey, look, building that relationship with the family members is very important for us. So, it is worth that three weeks. So I spent the first week in Prague, having calls at 4:00 AM. It was a sacrifice that I made for the better good of her development. I think, that the family part is one. I think, my parents gave me a lot of freedom and room for self discovery that led me to get interested in gaming and everything else, even for her, we try not to plow her with too many things that we feel are necessary and important, and let her just figure things out as much as we can. Mm-hmm. Whether is it the way she wants to play or the kinds of other she wants to interact with, or the activities that we do, we try to keep it a bit more open. The last part, which is on schooling. That's still the friction I probably have with my wife. Mm-hmm. I come from an environment of like neighborhood schools, you know, healthy, balance between schoolwork and having fun outdoors. Whereas, my wife comes from a hot call, school is everything and getting an A trumps, everything else. That balance we have not (32:00) fully found yet, but it's also not that big of a priority at the moment. At some point it'll become a friction. We have to find a right middle ground in an environment like Singapore. Everybody loves to compare that or make you feel like if you don't focus on that, then you're not being a good parent. So, I have to figure out a healthy middle ground along the way. It sometimes helps to have role models. We have a few friends that we really look up to and respect what we feel, are very good role models for us. And again, it's not a comparison thing, it's an inspirational thing. Like, you know, we always tell Gina I'm so inspired by how X and Y have raised their kids and they've done X, Y, and Z. What can we learn from that? And that has been helpful for us. 

(32:38) Jeremy Au: It's interesting because it made me realize that one thing that's important for me is growing up. I just never really got to know my grandparents, they were just not around because they passed away. For me it was such a shame and I never really got to know them. I'm always curious about them. I think it's important for our kids to have that time with their grandparents, my parents, right? I just think it's such a (33:00) temporal, you know, everybody dies, my parents will die, I will die, my kids will die one day. That time for them to overlap is precious, right? Precious for them to enjoy and precious for my kids to enjoy as well, right? And they get along. So, for me, I think that's actually quite important thing that I brought from my childhood Into my approach as a dad. 

(33:17) Mohan Belani: At least for me, one thing that's unique is of course, the fact that we are mixed race couple, right? We both don't care for religion. Although, interestingly, we are both brought up in extremely religious environments. So, the opposite, right? In fact, I was exposed to religion a lot growing up. And now, I don't expose Olive to religion very much, yeah. That's something that I've had a lot of exposure as a child. But right now, I completely do not bring that part in on a more active and deliberate level, 'cause it doesn't mean much for me. But again, when it happens with the grandparents, we partake, we go through it, of course. We do it in a respectful manner. But beyond that, it's something we don't do at all. It's interesting to compare, right? Like what are the things that we bring, but what are the things that we actively block (34:00) or just avoid. 

(34:00) Jeremy Au: We're generation millennial. I guess our kids are generation alpha. Yeah. Right. So, there's some of these like dynamics. One is like, we have same day shipping for staff. Like you said, we have lots of information and ChatGPT to figure out our child's issues. Also, our kids are growing up with a lot of technology around them. My kids, both of them like to carry their phones. Mm-hmm. Right? Their fake phones. Mm-hmm. This kid take a building block and they pretend to be talking on it, or working on it, because these are the things that we clearly spend eight hours a day on. 

(34:29) Mohan Belani: Everything is touchscreen to them. 

(34:30) Jeremy Au: They go to the TV. So, it's very interesting to see, and I'm curious, how do you think this generation alpha will pan out?

(34:36) Mohan Belani: Yeah. So, I think, for my wife and I, we realized that the gentle parenting concept might not have panned out well. Maybe, exposing the child to a bit more challenges, not helping them out with everything. The kind of environment my parents exposed me to finding that balance is key. For my child, not everything is gonna be delivered on a silver spoon. Daddy's not gonna (35:00) solve all her problems. I think I will constantly remind myself and ensure that she has challenges and a good amount of difficulty to help her navigate life. Assuming more parents adopt that kind of mindset after realizing that the gentle parenting model isn't the best one. Gen Alpha will be a lot more resilient, will have a lot more grit, and might have a lot more challenges to overcome by the time they get into the workforce. I'm hoping that's the ideal situation. The second thing is at least, with AI, reshaping what purpose really means, in my days it was about go to school, work hard, get the job, and then make sure you build the family and set yourself up for financial success. I have no idea what the future generation's idea of success is gonna look like. The current generation, the ones in their twenties or early thirties now, it's all about experiences for them. it's not about having the job that drives them, it's about having that unique experience whether it is travel, hobby, or lifestyle that sets them apart from everyone else (36:00) especially with AI coming in. They probably won't even have five- day work weeks, right? It could be three- day work weeks, you know, two other days could be community centric programs and activities that they get involved in. And then the rest of the time, rest and relaxation and family. 

(36:13) Jeremy Au: Well, that's the optimistic view of it. Maybe the dystopian view is they're working six days a week competing with AI, with the robots, and then they have to take a universal basic income and never work again. 

(36:24) Mohan Belani: I guess, I'm just a lot more optimistic in general. I try to have a brighter worldview of things. 

(36:30) Jeremy Au: Reminds me of this comedy YouTube channel, it shows this view of the future where I can't remember the exact name, but I can link to it, which is, you know, it shows a classic scene of like, you know, family dinner. The millennial dad who is now an old person. And then the daughter, generation Alpha is bringing in an AI to the dinner table. This sounds very interesting. So, the dad is like a classic racist but against computers because he is like, back in my time we did it humans. Like, it is like, I don't believe that humans and AI should date each other. You're (37:00) so old school, you're discriminatory. I get to love my AI, the way my AI deserves to be loved.

(37:06) Mohan Belani: You definitely understand that. So, this is where I think as parents, right? We have a responsibility to bring up future global citizens that have the right values, the right skill sets to navigate life, and the right purpose and motivation. Mm-hmm. Right. I fundamentally think this is what our roles is, is not to tell them, go be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. Or, you know, go to UK versus US for school . I think, we can help them figure out life decisions by providing them frameworks, models, guiding principles. But what we really should help them do Is think through life in those three areas I talked about. To me, that's the ideal situation of bringing up a child. The main reason I feel that way, is because we really don't know what the world's gonna look like 20, 30 years from now. I was born in the early (38:00) eighties. If I was a parent then, there is no way I would've known what the world would've looked like in 2010 or 2020. 2010 is roughly when I graduated. What kind of job should I do? And because the world is moving faster and faster, I'm delusional If I know what's gonna happen in the next 20 years, I have very high level sensing. But the truth is, I don't know. What I feel I can do as a parent is to provide the basic foundational character building processes and give them guiding principles that then allow them to figure things out on their own. 

(38:34) Jeremy Au: Yeah. I agree with you. I think those are the fundamental building blocks. If you go back to the 1980s and said, okay, I want my kid to grow up to be a startup founder, that would've been a impossible belief because nobody knew what startup founder was at the time. Obviously, there was just like, you know, the end of the Cold War. Right? And then, you know, space race, you know? But I think it would be hard for people to understand the concept that a Google search today uses the (39:00) same amount of processing power as the flight for the Apollo mission. You know, like a Google search, what color is good for my bedroom wall? Boom. We burn processing power like crazy today. AI is even a magnitude more than that. But I think it's interesting because you know, I think it'd been hard for them to predict like startup founder or something like that. But I think they could predicted, I don't know, doctor, lawyer, soldier, civil service, I mean, there's a lot of jobs that civil public service. 

(39:24) You know, there's still a lot of jobs that they could predict in 1980s. Today, I don't know. I mean, when I look at my own kid, generation alpha, I'm not worried about jobs. Because I feel like as long as we're helping them figure out nutrition, have good nutrition, drink their fish oil, not have any trauma. Then, as long as they grow up to that person, I think when we get closer to it around, I don't know, junior college or university, maybe that's when these disciplines will be much more key. So, I think now is for the core layers, the inner part of a brain that's being developed, right? As your brain's growing, make sure we lay the foundations well. We just like, you know, being able (40:00) to be emotionally resilient, take risk, explore. So, I think there's really that it, but I think when I look at the future, I think that to me, I think the biggest trending is gonna change is actually, I personally believe that. Super intelligence is coming in sense that, the exponential ramp of ai, you know, we've seen it tremendously improve over the past three years. three years ago, AI for public didn't exist. now today people are using it as companions, therapists, colleagues. So, we look at 16 years, right. So my kid becomes 20 years old, roughly. I really think that there's gonna be a trillion computer agents running around, whether they're in big brands, but everybody's gonna walk around with a pocket supercomputer called an iPhone, everyone's gonna walk around with a pocket ai. And each pocket AI has multiple because, you know, it's like Amazon or whatever, and then you're working at AI. My guess is that I think society is just be fundamentally different. I think people marrying ais. I know it's a joke right now. But I 

(40:51) Mohan Belani: really think it's gonna be real. I completely agree, on some level we can dream it But we really don't know what it's gonna look like. pretending that we are giving our child advice, (41:00) thinking that we know what's gonna happen is very wishful thinking I completely agree, the blurring of machine and human with respect to things like relationships work. Like a lot of founders today are starting companies that are smaller, run by gentech systems, and making more money than before. Your social circle could be a bunch of AI bots at some point. It doesn't necessarily always need to be humans, your entire organization can be, run by, Gentech AI systems. Here's the thing though, I don't think it's gonna be that way for everyone. If you really think about it, on some level people are on social media consuming content or getting access to information, but only a tiny fraction of the world is on social media actively creating content. Which is really what social media is about. The content creation ability. Right. So, the extreme ends of AI infusion in our lives is probably still gonna be a small sliver of the population. the general population will still be living life. In an enhanced manner. like you having an iPhone and my mom having an iPhone. It's the same piece of technology, (42:00) but used in a vastly different manner. yes, ai, super intelligence and all that will propagate the world significantly, but the absolute impact it has from a life changing standpoint will still only be a small segment of the world's population.

(42:14) Jeremy Au: I think we've gotta revisit this episode, when our kids graduate, 16 years time. We'll go back to this episode and this quote from you, we're gonna see whether it is true or not when I think about 16 years ago, right? 16 years ago to us was, around there. Which is a great financial recession. Google was scaling and everything, but that's when they started hiring for business people. So 2008. That's when, people still using their Facebook. Facebook was still a private company. people were, very public on the Facebook wall. So each other, you know, if you look my Facebook wall, there's sort of public conversations like, Hey, when are you going eat lunch today? It's like, ha ha ha. You know? How do you, what do you think about love Jeremy? And I'll be like, oh, I think about love is, and you, the whole idea of the internet has being this open space where you could talk about what you want to talk about without the whole looking on interview. Perpetuity. By (43:00) both humans and ai. So your data, 2008, the US dollar reserve currency being called into doubt. there's a lot of stuff that, 16 years ago has just been difficult. to believe or see, right? 

(43:08) Mohan Belani: But one thing was certain at that point in time, tech was a dominant force, and was going to play a significant role in our lives. that was very clear for individuals like us. we could foresee where the world would look like in 10 years time, couldn't see the negative impacts of it. if I remember myself in 2008 I was still naively and idealistically thinking that tech was a massive force for good. And the world should be rid of bankers and everything should be Because, you know, that's the right and good way to do things, but clearly that has not panned out at all. Right. I think there was even a, Evan Spiegel right? Which is the Snapchat C Right? Was a recent interview with him, and he himself mentioned that he doesn't even have TikTok on his phone or his kids' phones. Because it's like crack, right? so tech is now weaponized For attention and so many other things that I would (44:00) say, my naive mind would've never thought about back then. I think the same thinking can be said about AI today, for sure. AI is gonna be weaponized. It's gonna be maliciously used. and it's gonna have a very negative, detrimental impact on our physical, even our mental health potentially. it will probably happen a lot faster, Because of the rate of change, of the models. Mm-hmm. the keys is how do we make sure we have the balance to not fall into the trap we refer to the trap, we spread 2.0. 

(44:25) Jeremy Au: So wrap things up, what is the, one skill or thing you're trying to teach your kids to prepare for this future of, AI for me, I think the one thing contrarian, I would say is actually I'm going to, I feel like I'm intend to continue teaching my kid. Kinda like spirituality. Yep. You talk about it. But for me, I think what I kind of have the feeling of is that, you know, when you talk about the, you know, you know, putting apart the word of like religion, all this other stuff, but you know, like what is spirituality? Right. And I think a lot of it's like how do you relate to one another? what's right and wrong? there's gonna be a (45:00) set of values that are really important to have that space to talk about and it is all in a context of stories. which is what a child can relate to. I think trying to teach stoicism Yes. you know, but, there might be 

(45:10) Mohan Belani: some good children's books. 

(45:11) Jeremy Au: Okay. I mean, all transparency is that I think that, but whether is racism or whatever it is, but having that space to do that, because, you know, I think that when the kid kind of goes into TikTok or some other social media app, the AI is basically going to be like, I, how do I provide the chart whatever they want as they are. So day one, green Play-Doh review videos, then they provide that and they add a stack of how do I layer on more and more videos? And I want to insert ads because I want to monetize that where I can. and all this content, is also created by human producers who have their own set, right. And I just feel like the whole world is so, like I said, weaponized. Process, that level of influence that is almost become its own ideology in its (46:00) entirety. So what I mean by that, for example, is like processed foods, right? Nothing wrong. Processed foods. Like if you have beans and baked beans, like obviously big beans help you in a can. Self stable is convenient to eat. People used to go hungry 'cause they couldn't get food. And now we've solved the concept of nutrition in the developable, right? So everybody has food, they want to eat the develop bowl. But of course, if you look at the whole ideology of ultrapro foods Is that basically everybody was like, okay, we add big beans. let's add spam, let's eat fat, let's add sugar, because guess what, we as humans wanted. And so yeah, this ultra possessed food industry, which is basically something like, now it's like the morning, it's like breakfast cereal. Yeah. like honey stars and lot of sugar is framed as healthy. and so the ideology that is there is, you know, like eat sugar. And it's okay. I mean it's obviously nobody at a central ultra processed food industry is like, okay, this is the message we're gonna put out. But in aggregate. nobody wants to sell the oat brand unprocessed, no sugar cereal. That's at the bottom of the (47:00) shelf. the rainbow stuff with the, cute rainbow bird, 

(47:03) Mohan Belani: you know. Exactly 

(47:04) Jeremy Au: right. At eye level as a kid, you're walking by and what you're is stuff that is non-processed is at the bottom of the floor, which is not valuable. what's valuable is this rainbow colored sugar cereal. and it's the same for everything. It's not intentional, but the outcome of everybody competing with each other has that And then suddenly you're in a world where. majority of society, is still 

(47:24) Mohan Belani: weaponizing what's good? Yeah, exactly right. Process food is great, let's weaponize it and maximize profits and returns. Ultra process 

(47:30) Jeremy Au: so becomes ultra process food, right? And so I think the interesting part I realize now is that, to some extent, you could eat a bunch of, Snickers being seen as a, meal replacement and they're trying make, healthier and all this stuff, right? It was like a meal on the go totally got suckered by that interesting ideology I literally vibed because, you know, for me it was like, it's all about macros. It's a functional replacement. It's cheap. so it's better for you obviously. I became obese. And I was confused why I was getting obese. But it turns out, you know, drinking food versus eating food. Obviously in terms of CT 80 is (48:00) an order magnitude difference. Eating, you know, chewing is important. They're using cheap ingredients. drinking vitamin C is different from eating vitamin C. You know, like this because you took an algae and made it into bar fill. It's not the same as eating a dish. Fruit bars 

(48:14) Mohan Belani: and fruit are two totally 

(48:15) Jeremy Au: different things. At the time I was like, oh, it's the same thing. if I drink five of these a day, That equals to my calories or a day. Right. So it became a, what I'm trying to say is like when you buy a product, the product is actually an ideology in its own way. it reinforces that, right? 'cause I bought it because I thought other people were buying it. As I got into it, the marketing I was like, okay, this is a functional replacement for a meal. When I was working at my startup, people used to laugh at me 'cause I had this c crazy of soil next to my desk, right? I'll grab my silent and then chocolate wine and I'll drink it. Then on my way home, I'll take one silent and drink it on the way home. And then on the morning I'll take my caffeinated silent, and drink it. Wow. Now I'm just like, oh my God, what was I doing? Now it's been debunked. Nobody drinks silent. Nobody thinks it's healthy. But at that time It was the future of food. it was on Forbes, it was on business week. Everybody's gonna drink silent forever (49:00) Anyway. all I'm just trying to say is I got suckered into that thing. And so I think when I think about spirituality, it's more like vaccination, if that makes sense. if I teach you about the values of right and wrong, I don't take the time to discuss with you your role society and your own inner clock. In your own inner sense of A or B. Left or right, up or down. TikTok will do it for you. any YouTube algorithm would happily use that time. And the net effect will be to teach you an ideology that will become a Reddit thread. Some tribe will give you that ownership, that sense of pride, that sense of affiliation, and that rabbit hole can go forever, 

(49:34) Mohan Belani: If you want to get to know your child better, what he or she likes, take their phone and scroll through the TikTok feed. Yeah. 'cause it'll be feeding them everything that they're interested in and everything that they like consuming. And that is most likely what they are into, whether it's sports Minecraft fashion. or gadgets. 

(49:50) Jeremy Au: And it just converts us into a monkey because instead of becoming our brain of who we, want to be or who we think we should become It just tells us what we want (50:00) now. And what we want now is sugar, fat. dopamine hits. We just want it now. if you ask me now, do everybody want now? I want a Snickers bar. If you a Snickers bar right now in front of me, most likely I'll eat it. People call me Jeremy a hypocrite, but I'll be like, no, I'm not a hypocrite. It's just that my higher order brain wants me to be healthy not a bar. Mind and body is my body wants eat Snickers bar. So the way I solve, by never ordering a bar. Yeah. As much as possible. And never having it around the house. That's how I solve. Then I don't become a hypocrite. Yeah. But monkey brain is like, now it's like, I wanna watch a gaming video. But what is the one thing that you are, maybe it's contrarian, maybe it's different, 

(50:34) Mohan Belani: well, there's one quote that I shared with some friends earlier this year. I think it is a bit corny, but actually I think it's very powerful. For me at least.

(50:41) Right. it comes from the Ted lasso store, Which is, be curious, not judgmental. I think for a child that comes naturally The goal is to sustain that as long as possible. so for my child, at least when I see curiosity, I try to foster that, encourage that. And I try to relate that to (51:00) myself too. Especially now in the age of ai, this need to consistently be curious about what's new, what's interesting and what's changing. Even if it opposes your worldview, it's really important rather than to be judgmental or critical. I'm hoping through that I can be a better learner, a better dad, but also a lot more ready for the changes that are coming. I want to consistently spark that curiosity. and foster an environment that embraces that. 

(51:27) Jeremy Au: Because if you are able to be curious, the good thing about AI is that it will feed you that curiosity, 

(51:34) Mohan Belani: the way prompt engineering works on some level is the way you structure your prompts. But you got to have the curiosity, the patience to ask questions and not just judge the outcome, if you are a lot more curious, you are a lot more willing to open yourself up to different areas to explore ideas, right? that works in music, mostly art. sports as well, so yeah, for me, be curious. Not judgmental. 

(51:56) Jeremy Au: On that note, I think that's a good way to tie things up. see you next month. (52:00) Thanks for having me again.