Violet Lim: Founding Asia’s Largest Matchmaker, Dating Stigma vs. Coaching and AI Romance Companions - E653
“When people know that I’m a matchmaker, they ask me, ‘I don’t understand why she’s single.’ I tell them I don’t even need to meet their friend to explain why. I say, ‘For example, you say your friend is very good. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate her?’ If your friend is an eight, what do you think she’s looking for? At least a nine. And if the guy is a nine, what is he looking for? A ten. It’s very simple. Your friend has two options. One option is she figures out how to move herself from an eight to a ten. Or she looks around and realizes the guys who are eights are actually amazing. These guys would love to get to know her better, but she doesn’t even give them the time of day.” - Violet Lim, Co-Founder & CEO of Lunch Actually Paktor Group
“WhatsApp critique is when someone messages you, because some people haven’t dated for a long time, or they dated in a completely different era. For example, the era I dated in had no messaging. Now everything is through text, and some people are just really bad at texting. If you think about it, there are so many options now. Unlike 21 years ago, people have Bumble and Tinder, and chances are they’re talking to many different people at the same time.” - Violet Lim, Co-Founder & CEO of Lunch Actually Paktor Group
“There are so many love scams. The reason love scams work is because the scammers, even though they are bad people, fulfill a certain need that people have. In a way, isn’t it better if people are not scammed but their needs are fulfilled through AI? Obviously, I don’t think this is the most ideal situation, and I’m still trying to focus on the solution I’m trying to roll out.” - Violet Lim, Co-Founder & CEO of Lunch Actually Paktor Group
Violet Lim, Co-Founder & CEO of Lunch Actually Paktor Group, and Jeremy Au explore how dating, expectations, and technology have evolved across Southeast Asia over the past two decades. Violet traces her path from studying law in the UK to banking in Singapore, before leaving a stable career at 24 to start Lunch Actually, now one of Asia’s longest-running matchmaking groups. They discuss the early stigma around dating services, why lunch dating worked as a low-pressure solution for busy professionals, and the realities of expanding across markets like Malaysia, Hong Kong, and Taiwan. Their conversation digs into why some people find partners quickly while others repeat the same patterns, how coaching closes gaps in mindset and behavior, and why surface-level filters often block long-term compatibility. They also examine how dating apps reshaped expectations, how Gen Z, millennials, and Gen X approach dating differently, and how AI companionship is beginning to challenge traditional ideas of intimacy, loneliness, and commitment.
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Apple Podcast